


Whispers of a War

by Januaryskies



Series: A home at last [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Godfather Sirius Black, Homophobia, M/M, Other, Recovery, Teacher Remus, Werewolf Discrimination
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januaryskies/pseuds/Januaryskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fourth part of A Home at last.<br/>While Harry has to face the Tasks, Sirius tracks down informations about possessions by objects at Grimmauld Place, and Remus fights new anti-werewolves laws.<br/>Or, the Goblet of Fire, Wolfstar PoV...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Third of November

**Author's Note:**

> So as always a HUGE thank you to Kayjaylew. She is a wonderful proofreader, please don't forget she's the one fixing grammar here!!! To say things entirely, she even named this part, I was unable to find a title and in 24h she fixed it!
> 
> And a huge thanks to you too, dear reader, because a bunch of you fought against my recent lack of motivation and here you go, the story's back because you are reading it!!!

Of course Sirius spent the next two days sulking at home.

How could he not?

First, he was fairly sure someone was trying to take his godson.

Second, it was the anniversary of James and Lily's _death._

Third, he couldn't manage to do a proper job with either oghams or runes in order to protect Starlake better, even if he had once been very good with runes and magical alphabets.

So on the second of November, Remus came home to find his mate furiously punching an object that looked suspiciously like one of their armchairs. Sirius was so wrapped in his own release that he had't even heard him.

The teacher left his wallet on the floor and went right to his lover, embraced him from behind and kissed his neck.

Sirius froze and his head tilted forward, eyes wandering on his feet. Slowly, he let go and turned back to face Remus, and buried his face in the werewolf's neck. For a while they just stay there in silence, as words were useless when understanding was already here.

Eventually, Sirius flicked his wand and transfigured the punching bag back into an armchair. Remus chuckled and kissed him again.

“Diner time?” he asked. “I'm starving.”

 

~~~

 

The night went better than Remus expected, through. Sirius slept like a stone and no nightmare woke them up. Morning came with relief for the werewolf, and he let his boyfriend sleep over the clock. He padded in the kitchen, made waffles for breakfast and left the house for work leaving an origami-dog parchment as a love-note for him.

He was very glad he had the fourth years first this morning. Spell practice was something really entertaining.

“Harry!” he called as the teens were leaving the class, “would you mind staying a minute?”

“Course not, Professor,” Harry answered walking to his teacher's desk.

From the corner of his eye, Remus saw Hermione waiting at the door as Harry was already half-frowning.

“Something wrong with Sirius?” he asked.

“I won't say no, but would you mind come home for dinner tonight? I'll bring you back at a reasonable hour. Or, you may use your invisibility cloak.”

“What's the special occasion?”

“Ask Hermione. I'm sure she knows. Now go, or you'll be late for class.”

Harry nodded and ran off.

As always, Hermione had the answer.

 

~~~

 

Sirius woke up around ten, freaked out half a second before remembering it was a school day and Remus was at work, and sighed discovering a dark grey, rainy sky through the window. He felt cold and lonely, and overwhelmed by a deep wave of sadness melting his guts as he peered at the hills outside.

“What am I suppose to do, Prongs?” he asked out loud. “We were supposed to go through that war together, remember? We swore it before leaving Hogwarts. We swore it and we both fail... Merlin, I _miss_ you, James...”

Feeling more ridiculous with his rambling by seconds, he abandoned the window to crawl mindlessly in the kitchen and smiled finding Remus's note, wishing him a nice day and promising a quick return. His mood lighted a bit but he couldn't properly eat the waffles. His stomach was a tight knot of anger and sorrow. He tried a hot shower before resign himself to kill the time by trying sets of oghams and runes without real conviction. He peered up outside hoping the skies would clear, but they only became darker so he nested onto the couch with books, until sadness turned into tiredness and he fell asleep before he could tell.

His sleep was deep, so deep he didn't hear the double whoosh of the fireplace as Remus and Harry came in around five, climbed upstairs, changed and came back. Harry was chuckling when Remus told him a story of a very drunk Sirius who woke up with a violent hangover and a face covered of dumb messages and doodles, a kind courtesy of Prongs.

“Then he had to take three showers to erase all of it,” Remus said hovering to the kitchen to fetch glasses and drinks. “He missed Charms and half of Transfiguration, and professor McGonagall was mad about him for a whole day.”

“Did he take revenge?”

“Of course he did! Prongs ended with his bedsheets full of slime the next day. It coloured his skin a fair shade of purple...”

“Are you destroying the very few esteem my godson may have for his godfather?” Sirius interrupted, peering half-awake at the kitchen's door, “You're the worse lover ever, Moony.”

“Hi, Sirius,” Harry hugged him.

Sirius crooked a smile and tussled his hairs.

“Hi, pup. What happened?”

Remus and Harry both startled and looked at Sirius like if he was crazy.

“Are you serious?” Harry deadpanned.

“Well I'm alw – ”

“Don't you dare!” his godson cut him. “Have you really no idea?”

“It's a school day, Prongslet, so you're not supposed to be here, aren't you? So excuse me for assuming something may be wrong...”

Remus sighed in the background, laugh pushing hard on his ribs.

“He really doesn't know, Harry,” the werewolf finally blurted.

“HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW?” Harry yelled in frustration. “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOWING? _Hermione drove me crazy for half a day before telling me, and you dared to_ FORGET IT?”

Sirius took a step back and blinked several times in surprise.

“Look at the calendar, Pads,” Remus helped and Sirius's expression slowly moved from confusion to understanding.

“Blimey,” he huffed and shook his head, “Okay it's official, I'm a moron.”

His lover smiled and his godson punched him in the ribs.

Half an hour later, they were in Edinburg, at the Muggle restaurant where Remus had booked a table for the evening.

Harry was drinking stories about his parents, his caretakers and the earliest months of his own life, Sirius was drinking wine, and Remus was drinking water as he had to go to work on morning.

They had a cake for dessert of course, adorned with three candles. Of course Sirius wouldn't say it out loud, but he made a wish blowing out the little flames.

He wished that the three of them would make it out of the coming war alive.

“Happy birthday, Padfoot,” Remus said handing him two presents.

Sirius's eyebrows went up and down in a frown.

“Second one is from Minerva. She gave it to me at lunch.”

“And this one is from me,” Harry added grabbing his own, poorly wrapped gift in his bag. “I'm sorry, it's pretty lame, but I didn't know it was your birthday until this afternoon, so... Happy birthday?”

“You never had any obligation to offer me anything, pup. I'm really touched you took time to do this anyway,” Sirius ruffled the messy hairs as he knew he had the right to – they weren't in a wizarding public space, so Harry's reputation was safe.

His godson's gift was a framed picture of himself in first year, that he had very carefully put out the album Hagrid gave him. He was looking quite shyly at the photograph, Hedwig on the shoulder and his Nimbus 2000 in the hand. Sirius bit his bottom lip to keep some dignity.

“I couldn't find one where I was younger,” Harry explained. “The Dursleys never liked to acknowledge I was here so there's very few pictures of me before Hogwarts.”

“I'll remember you I love to acknowledge your presence in my life every day, Prongslet.”

“You already do.”

They exchanged a smile and Harry allowed a quick thank-you hug.

Remus's gift was a fat guitar tabs book claiming to contain “all the best rocksongs ever” including sheets of picking, solos and melodies.

“I could kiss you, Moony.”

“Please wait until we're home. Being gay isn't a crime, but it isn't tolerated everywhere in the muggle world.”

“I'll – ” he began, and stopped to wink at Harry. “I'll kiss you at home, then.”

“I didn't hear that,” Harry grumbled but smiled.

The two lovers exchanged a knowing smile. However, Minerva's thin present was still on the table.

Sirius hesitated a bit before dabbling through the paper, and frowned.

“You don't want to open it?” Harry asked.

“I know what it is, and I'm not ready for this now,” his godfather admitted. “Let's go home, pup! Tomorrow is a school day.”

 

~~~

 

Remus flooed back after leaving Harry in front of the Fat Lady. Sirius was waiting for him on the couch in pyjama bottoms and open dressing-gown.

“You're way too beautiful for your own good, Pads,” his lover growled. “Now that the child is gone, let's have the second part of your birthday gift.”

“Second part of – ”

He was cut by a box handed to him, a beautiful black box wrapped with a maroon ribbon.

“I really couldn't offer you this in front of Harry, I'm not sure he's _that_ innocent anymore...”

Sirius eyed Remus, dubious, and pulled on the knot.

“Fuck,” he gasped.

It was a black leather dog collar, with a silver medal mentioning “Padfoot” in beautifully shaped letters.

“Moony, this... this is gorgeous.”

A wolfish smile lifted Remus's lips as he took the collar from its case and put it around Sirius's neck.

“You are gorgeous,” he corrected, cocking a finger to pull his lover closer. “this is only a tribute to your beauty. Now, do you still want to thank me? Because I've a few ideas for the ways you could do this.”

Sirius playfully smiled and leant forward to catch Remus's lips in a soft, deep kiss.

“Show me,” he breathed. “because I'm very willing to thank you properly.”

 


	2. Dogs and Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry discovers what the First Task is, and Sirius is short-tempered.  
> As always, McGonagall is wonderful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty messy chapter, but the third one will be tomorrow...  
> We had a few files problems with Kayjaylew about this one, so it's not proofread. I hope there isn't too much mistakes left...  
> Edit from the 24/05/2016 : She sends me the chapter this instant so I edited it ^^

 

Sirius, my dear boy,

 

I perfectly understand your worry about Harry facing the first Task. However, I must kindly remind you that no spectators are allowed except the officials and the school members. Please trust the staff to ensure Harry's safety.

Remus told me you were making researches, I hope you are finding what you are looking for. I am very willing to discuss some points of this topic with you.

Best regards,

 

Albus.

 

~~~

 

_Albus,_

 

_With all due respect, you can not forbid teachers to have pets. And by pet, I'm not talking about Hermione._

_I'll be back to my researches after the first Task, so would you mind wait until the first days of December?_

_Woof,_

 

_Sirius._

 

_~~~_

 

“Professor Lupin?” Harry almost shyly asked at the end of Remus's class. “May I have a word?”

Remus frowned at Harry's attitude. He had been distracted the whole lesson, and now his eyes were carefully watching his feet as he stood in front of the bureau, shoulders in, fingers fidgetting around his wand.

“Of course you can. What's the matter?”

Harry swallowed hard, obviously trying to put himself together.

“It's about today's Daily Prophet.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't found any time to read it this morning, so would you mind explain? Or do you want a proper talk? It's lunchtime, we can have a meal in my office.”

“That's...” Harry mumbled, “if you haven't read it...”

“Now you're worrying me. Come in.”

He gestured to the back door and Harry walked in the office like some convict.

“Now,” Remus almost ordered closing the door, “what happened?”

“Sirius will hate me,” Harry said, voice unsure, as he expected Remus to hit him.

The teacher frowned and put a careful hand on Harry's shoulder, but the boy didn't look up.

“There is a very few things in that world I'm one hundred per cent positive about, Harry. However, Sirius loving you no matter what you do or think is on the top of that list. Wwould you mind explain, now, why you all sudden think that your godfather may hate you?”

“It's... It's that Mrs Skeeter,” the teen stuttered. “She wrote that I've said things I've never said, never even thought, and... There are a few things that aren't kind with Sirius... at all...”

He froze when Remus laughed.

“And you're afraid that Sirius may believe that you said it? Please don't worry, Harry. Sirius would never trust anything that Rita Skeeter may write. And he would never think you hate him, except maybe if you yell it at him and hex him after that.”

He paused and rubbed a thinking hand on his chin.

“Actually, I can't even be sure it would be enough for him to buy it. James did it at least once a month for a decade, and so did Lily almost every day, and I even did once, when he was an infuriating poshy teenager, and here we are.”

Harry's shoulders suddenly deflated, and he sighed deeply.

“I've been freaking out for nothing once more, haven't I?”

“I assume unconditionnal love from adults isn't something you are used to, so I won't say for nothing. It may happen again. I remember that Sirius needed years before feeling confident enough in Fleamont and Euphemia's love.”

“Fleamont and Euphemia?”

“James's parents.”

“Merlin! Now I know why they called their son James and why I ended with Harry!” the teen deadpanned, sarcastic.

“Seems you're better,” Remus smiled. “Do you want to have lunch here with me, or in the Great Hall with your fellow students? It's up to you, but you look like you could use a break from those badges.”

“I totally could,” Harry nodded. “If you don't mind...”

But Remus was already calling a House-Elf.

 

_~~~_

 

“So what does it say?” Remus asked when Sirius slapped the newspaper on the kitchen table. 

“Bullshits. It could be _funny_ if half of the Wizarding World wasn't that eager to believe it...”

“Make me laugh, love, I've had a rough day.”

Sirius crooked a smile and wrapped Remus's shoulders with an arm, reaching the newspaper again with his free hand.

“Young Harry now lives with his newly-cleared godfather,” he read in a horrid falsetto voice, “the handsome but _controversial_ Sirius Black. Of course any _reasonable_ witch would question the suitability of an ex-convict whose whole family presented severe mental healt issues to raise a child alone, but it seems that the law is on Mr Black's side. 'He says I look like my father,' Harry says with sadness, 'I only hope he is aware I am not his long-lost best friend...'”

Sirius paused his reading to sigh.

“How could _anyone_ mistake Harry for James, Moony?” he rolled his eyes, voice suddenly normal again. “And how could anyone still believe Skeeter's nonsenses and muddy gossips?”

“I don't know. Most people have a taste for muddy gossips, I assume?”

“He really freaked out reading this, didn't he?”

“He said you'll hate him.”

Sirius shook his head.

“The only person I hate right now is _Petunia Dursley_. She was supposed to _protect_ him, not to abuse and let him be abused to the point he lost confidence in any grown-up.”

“He trusts you.”

“I assume he does, but he still thinks my love for him is _conditional.”_

“You thought for years my love for you was conditional, and James's friendship as well, Padfoot. Give him time.”

“I _will._ And I'll write to him as well.”

“You're so sweet when you go all fierce and protective... I could kiss you.”

“Then why do you say it instead of just _doing_ it?”

 

_~~~_

 

_Prongslet,_

_I perfectly know you never said those things and I don't trust the Daily Prophet's common nonsense at all, especially when it comes from Rita Skeeter. However, I'm mad about that snooper playing with you the way she did. You couldn't knew what to do and how to react, and it was low and selfish from her, as expected from someone whose only interest is to hurt as much people as she can. I'm just glad she let Remus out of this.Next time you had to speak to a journalist... the better way often is to say nothing at all._

_I hope you're fine despite the mess that article may have done. Don't forget to write and take care of yourself._

_Love,_

_Sirius._

 

_~~~_

 

_Albus,_

_Next time you let Rita Skeeter near Harry, please ensure she is tied up and gagged before. Oh, and wearing ear-plugs._

_Thank you very much for your comprehension._

_Sirius._

 

_~~~_

 

Two weeks had passed. The end of November, the first signs of winter and the First Task were all knocking at the door. The 21th of November, the full moon came. And set.

It was six or something in the morning when Hedwig threw herself into the two men's bedroom and crashed on Sirius's back as he was gently caressing Remus's cheek. The godfather instantly worried.

“What is it?” he asked, half-expecting the clever owl to answer him as he worked on the ribbon that tied the parchment.

He knew Harry wouldn't have wrote on a full moon without a very good reason, and a possible emergency. That's why he let go a heavy sigh of relief when his eyes wandered on the sheet:

 

SIRIUS THE FIRST TASK IS A DRAGON HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SURVIVE THIS ?

 

~~~

 

“You awake, pup?”

Harry opened his eyes wide. He hadn't sleep at all, waiting for his godfather to come. They sneaked out of the dorm and in Gryffindor's common room. They both knew they only had a very few time before the first students woke up and began to come down.

“You know you're not suppose to sneak into Gryffindor's tower twice a month, do you?”

“I do, and I don't care at all,” Sirius whispered with a wicked smile. “No one will know, I promise. But if you need me, I'm here, and that's all. I would hide in a cave living on rats, if it was the easiest way to be near you.”

Harry shrugged, pretty sure his godfather was able to come in and out of the castle as much as he wanted anyway.

“I'm glad you don't.”

Sirius barked a muffled laugh and ruffled his godson's hair.

“Now, let's talk about you. How are you?”

Harry tried and failed to say fine, and all the frustration, the anger and the sorrow he felt flew out of his mouth in a long monologue. Sirius listened, paying close and silent attention to his godson.

“And now I'm supposed to face a Dragon, Sirius! A _Dragon!”_

“To be fair, pup, you fought a Basilisk in second year. I would dare say that facing a Dragon in fourth year is normal improvement...”

“Sod of! It's not helping!” Harry elbowed him.

But it was. His godfather's confidence on his ability to face a Dragon made him feel far lighter than a second before. Suddenly the distinct sound of footsteps alerted them.

“Blimey! I'd better be off! Take care, okay? I'll be there tomorrow. Use your skills, and weak point is the eyes.”

Sirius disappeared through the portrait at the same instant Ron entered the common room.

“Whom were you talking to?” he asked.

“Why do you care?” Harry growled, unconsciously mimicking his godfather.

Ron shrugged and went to breakfast.

 

~~~

 

_(…)_

_As expected from the Boy Who Lived, the youngest of the champions had begun his Tournament cleaning up the best marks. We all wish Harry Potter the best for the two next Tasks!_

_Let's end this story with an anecdote about the lack of security at Hogwarts : at the end of the First Task, our special correspondant, the witty and charming Rita Skeeter, had been attacked by a vicious black dog as she was reaching the champions to interview them. She immediately reported the incident to Headmaster Dumbledore, who didn't seems to be alarmed at all by the fact that a dangerous beast may stray near the school. Mr Percy Weasley, the new right hand of Mr Barty Crouch, had prouved himself far more interested in the students's security and refered the deputy Headmistress, Mrs McGonagall. The profesor declared that “she will personnaly took care of the problem”, whatever this could mean._

_(…)_

 

“That's why, Sirius,” McGonagall snapped brandishing the Daily Prophet, “I would be very glad if you were kind enough to refrain from attacking press correspondants next time you decide to break every rule established for that Tournament once more.”

“I do apologise, professor. Really, I'm sorry.”

“What did she said to make you so mad?” Remus asked.

He felt responsible, because he had accepted that Sirius came along with him even if he was still exhausted from the moon.

“She called you a 'pending scandal'... and said she would love to trigger it.”

“That's very noble of you, Sirius,” McGonagall sighed, “and please know that Dumbledore forbid her the access of the school, but next time you do something that reckless, I transform you into a teapot. Consider yourself warned, and go out of that castle before I feel like giving you detention as a souvenir of good old days.”

 

 


	3. Walburga's pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who said recovery was a straight line?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And talking about recovery, please wish one to the wonderful beta-proofreader kayjaylew!!l

Winter came soon after the First Task, and the early days of December brought the morning frost and the freezing winds back onto the Scottish mountains. Short days, brightened by winter light, seceded to each other as Remus was teaching, Harry learning, and Sirius researching, and everybody basically doing what they were supposed to do.

A routine had set up at Starlake House: Remus and Sirius left at the same time each morning, one to go to Hogwarts, the other one to Grimmauld Place. Sirius always went back home first, one hour before Remus does, just because he loved to hug his boyfriend the moment he stepped out of the fireplace and to welcome him in a warm, bright home.

That's why, that day of mid-December Remus came home to find the lights off and the house cold and silent, he instantly knew something was wrong. Very wrong.

“Padfoot?” he called for good measure, but he already could feel the loneliness all over the empty house. “You here?”

When silence responded, he threw his bag on the floor and flooed to Grimmauld Place.

The manor of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black was moist and dark, and incredibly noisy. Two piercing voices were screaming so loud that Remus's first reaction was to cover his ears in surprise – and pain.

“SHAME OF MY FLESH AND BLOOD! YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! UNWORTHY, UNGRATEFUL TRAITOR!!!”

“YOU FAILED! IN WHATEVER YOU TRIED, YOU FAILED! YOU LET THEM DIE, YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE, YOU BETRAYAED THEM! YOU PERJURED YOURSELF AND YOU WILL PERJURE AGAIN!”

He was forced to take the time to adjust to the screams, and by then he concluded in awe that the two voices were the same. Like some crazy woman split herself in two in order to double the yelling.

However, one of the voices came from the corridor. The other, from upstairs.

The closest target was the corridor one, so Remus hurried to find Walburga Black's portrait howling at the wall in front of her, and at him as soon as she spotted him.

“BEAST WHO SOIL MY HOME AND BREED! HOW DARE YOU TO FACE ME?”

The werewolf didn't even took the time to answer and pulled the curtain as hard and fast as he could to shut the portrait up.

“SIRIUS!” he called as one of the Walburgas quieted.

“YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PATHETIC FAILURE OF A MAN!” the other Walburga yelled in unintentional response, as Remus ran through the stairs.

He let the shouting voice lead him (HOW DO YOU EVEN DARE PRETEND TO RAISE THE BOY YOU DIDN'T PROTECTED WHEN HE NEEDED IT THE MOST? YOU LET HIM BEING ABUSED, YOU LET HIM BEING HURT, YOU BROKE THE PROMISE YOU MADE TO HIM!) and he reached up the third floor breathless to spot the closed door the sound came from.

Wand up, Remus cracked the door open and startled.

Harry's lifeless, dislocated corpse was lying on the floor.

Towering over it was one of the most frightening thing the werewolf ever saw: a Dementor yelling madly with Walburga Black's piercing voice.

“YOU SAID HE WAS YOUR BROTHER AND YOU LET HIS SON BEING ORPHANED, ABUSED, MANIPULATED, THREATENED, LOCKED UP IN A CUPBOARD FOR YEARS!!!”

The Dementor was so huge it darkened the whole room, and anyone would have backed up. Anyone but Remus John Lupin, who happened to be an efficient Defence teacher and well-versed in Dark Creatures, and very aware of one thing.

Dementors could make fluttering noises, but last he had checked, they didn't sound like an angry hag choking on her own spit

So, this wasn't a Dementor.

It was a Boggart.

A very powerful, vicious and strong Boggart.

He stepped resolutely inside the room and faced it.

“Come here!” he shouted, expecting to face a full moon.

Except he didn't.

He faced Sirius Black. A standing, empty-eyed, soulless Sirius Black. Kissed by a Dementor. Looking at him in perfect silence, as he was blind and deaf to the world.

Remus could _feel_ the blood leaving his face, but he kept himself together and pictured

“Riddikulus,” he cast.

The empty Sirius ended with a pink bikini and orange hair, and ran in shame hiding in the closet it came from.

Remus let out a heavy sight.

“Sirius?” he asked.

A shy, broken sob answered him.

Sirius was curled up in the corner of the room, sobbing and shaking and crying and totally freaking out, arms reached in front of his face like he expected to be lashed or beaten.

Remus's heart snapped here.

He throw himself down on his knees and hugged Sirius tight.

“Padfoot,” he gently called knowing the use of the surname would help, “Pads, hear me. Look at me. I'm here. It's over.”

But Sirius's eyes were lost, dead and glassy, and this time, Remus began to panic. He grabbed the other man's face between both of his palms and forced him to look at him.

“No, no, no, no, don't you _dare_ to do that to me, Padfoot! _Come back!_ Come back to me _now!_ It's over, do you hear me? It's over! Harry is fine!” he added without thinking much.

Sirius choked on, gasped, blinked several time as he seemed to come back in his own body and mind. The werewolf saw his grey eyes light again, and felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.

“Thanks Merlin, Padfoot...” he whispered letting his forehead rest against his boyfriend's.

“Harry...” Sirius croaked.

“Harry is perfectly fine, he is currently in his dorm, at Hogwarts. No one touched him, Sirius. Harry is fine.”

“Are you?”

“You just gave me the fear of my life, but yes, I am now.”

“O – okay.”

He was still shaking, through, and Remus helped him up.

“Were is your wand?”

“Library.”

“Come on. Pick it up and we'll floo home.”

A few moments later they stepped in their living room. Sirius was breathing heavily, trying hard to calm down and stop the tears that were flowing through his cheeks.

“I'll run you a bath, okay?” Remus said. “And fix you some tea, and then you'll be better.”

He got away from his mate to reach the bathroom, but he couldn't manage two steps before Sirius's panic-strong grip clenched around his wrist.

“Please Moons,” he blurted. “I don't want to be alone.”

“Okay. Okay, love. It's fine, everything is fine. Come with me. We'll calm you down.”

He ran the bath while Sirius stripped down, and a pleading-puppy-look later the teacher pulled his own clothes down as well and they ended together in the tub. Remus embraced and massaged and kissed the other man for a long time, wash his long black locks and hummed him lullabies and two hours later, the water was turning really cold. Remus went out first, grabbed a towel and wrapped Sirius into it before helping himself. The raven-haired man was better now, soothed by the warm water and the long cuddle in his lover's arms.

They crashed into bed skipping diner. None of them was hungry but for the other's presence. Remus took some of the chocolate he kept in the bedside and ordered Sirius to eat what he could, but his stomach seemed to be wreck-havoc and he hardly managed a bite.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don't you dare to apologise, Padfoot,” Remus hushed him ruffling his hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don't, but I think I'd better to anyway... I was caught off guard. I was looking for that bloody book I remembered mother using a lot, and figured it may be in my parent's bedroom, and I get there and to the shelf and when I turned back...”

His voice broke.

“How long?” Remus asked.

“I don't know... I remember looking at the clock around three. Please, it's enough, I just need to be with you.”

The teacher shook his head and huffed. Sirius had face that nightmare for maybe two hours. He tightened his grip around him and kissed his temple. It didn't matter how strong-minded his boyfriend was, he was still recovering and such severe trauma and PTSD didn't heal in four or five months. Of course he could handle it, he even could have face that Boggart if he hadn't been reckless enough to simply leave his wand in another room... But still. Of all worst-places-for-Sirius in the world, 12th Grimmauld Place was close second behind Azkaban.

“I don't want you to go there alone anymore. It's not safe for you.”

“Just shut the fuck up about it, Moons,” Sirius backed up, “I'm ashamed enough.”

“You don't have to. Your worst fear is just far too overwhelming for you to fight it in your current sh – ”

“I'm in shape, Remus! Or at least I ought to be! There's a war coming, we all know it, and I must be able to protect Harry! I have no time to waste and no right to be weak enough to have my arse beaten by a boggart! A fucking _boggart!_ Your _third years_ are able to fight a _boggart!”_

“My third years worst fears are spiders or bad marks,” Remus remembered him. “Except for Miss Weasley, and _I didn't let her face it_. Plus, they mostly don't have abusive parents cruciating them when they behave, nor spent they twelve years in Azkaban surrounded by Dementors for a crime they didn't even commit at the first place. You should be kinder to yourself, Padfoot. Come here.”

Sirius's shoulders fell down with his anger, and he nestled in Remus's arms, who petted his head and played with his hair.

“I don't want to lose you once more,” he muttered in the raven locks. “I can't even bear to hear you crying in your sleep anymore, and I don't want to fear for you while I'm teaching. I don't want to lose you, Sirius.”

The black-haired man breathed heavily into his lover's chest.

“I must continue this, Moony,” he finally blurted. “I'm on something, something that may change everything.”

“I said that I don't want you to go _alone,_ Padfoot. Not that I don't want you to go at all... Even if I'd like you don't have to. No, I want to find someone able to help you in those researches, and to keep an eye on your mother's crazy stuffs. Maybe Andromeda or – ”

“I think I know someone.”

 


	4. To take a stray dog in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius finds himself a helper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter duly proofread for a while, Kayjaylew won't be able to proofread for a while, and I still don't have english corrector on my computer. I promise I'll be careful, but...

_Minerva,_

_I am very sorry but I absolutely need to stay at Starlake today. Alastor will find everything he needs to stand in for me in the blue file on the right side of my classroom's desk._

_I swear it won't become an habit._

_With my endless thanks for your kindness,_

_Remus._

 

~~~

 

**Remus,**

**Everything is properly sorted.**

**Take a good care of Sirius.**

**Minerva.**

 

~~~

 

Remus sighed deeply reading his deputy headmistress's note. He had used a paperplane through the Floo to send his apologies, and as it was a quick, but quite unsure way to send messages, he was relieved that everything went right. Even if he couldn't guess how McGonagall was so sure it was about Padfoot.

Sirius was still sleeping upstairs. Once more, his night had been rough. Even if he hadn't face a real Dementor, the Boggart's imitation had been powerful enough to drain him badly despite all of his protests. Remus was concerned by his lover's safety, as he knew Sirius's own sense of self-preservation was close to nothing as long as his godson was involved in a way or another. He would never stop those researches if there was any tiny chance it could help defeating Voldemort.

The werewolf sipped a few more tea and went back upstairs to wake his boyfriend.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” he kissed him gently. “It's morning already.”

Sirius huffed and nuzzled Moony's chest.

“I love you,” he muttered, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

Remus couldn'd help but smile.

“I feel like I ought to tell you that I love you every day,” Sirius carried on, “because I can never be sure when it will be the last day I spend with you.”

“Don't be so gloomy before 9 am, Pads, would you? Now wake up, breakfast is ready and then we can go to Glendew.”

 

~~~

 

Sirius insisted to lead the way as a dog, and Remus first supposed he needed to strech. But when they reached the tiny, crumbling house apart from the village, and Padfoot began to bark at the window, obviously calling, the werewolf became suspicious.

However, the door opened on a very dishevelled, scrumpy, kilt-wearing Em.

“Hey-heeey,” the bartender beamed kneeling near the dog to scratch him between the ears while he licked the chubby cheeks, “nice ta see ye, lil'Grim! Fays and Selkies, Imma glad ye look that better, laddie. Yeah, yer a good laddie!”

Sirius yelped bouncing around.

“Do ye find yerself a master, lil'Grim? That's why ye looks so bonnie, eh?” the young woman asked looking up at Remus and stretching a black-polish-nailed hand. “Hey, Imma Em. Is the lil'Grim yers?”

“Hello, erm, I'm Remus. And yes, he is mine, I hope he doesn't bother you.”

“Remus like in  _Remus Lupin the werewolf-teacher?”_ Em rose an eyebrow. “Wow, an honour, then. I know Mr Black, but ye never showed up, so… Wanna come in?”

Remus startled. An honour to meet him?  _That_ was a first! But the Scott seemed to think it, waving a hand to the house. A moment later, Remus found himself sat on an old comfy armchair with a cup of earl grey. To his growing discomfort, his host had choose to crouch on the ledge of a low window with a glass of Firewhiskey. At 10 am. Still wandering all around like the overexcited puppy he was for now, Sirius didn't help at all.

“So, what the pleasure, Professor Lupin?” Em asked.

“Well, may I ask you how you meet Padfoot?”

“The lil'Grim's called Padfoot? Suits him. Was wand'rin' all starvin' an' full o' fleas an' I gave him things to eat along with a bath an' a pillow near the fireplace for a few days one summer. A mornin' he was gone. That's all. Glad he found ye. Looks better now.”

“Thank you very much,” he very politely said, mentally cursing his boyfriend for the situation he threw him in. “I don't think we know each other... He brings me here, to be fair.”

The Scott didn't seem disturbed at all with the utter strangeness of their situation.

“Ye know me, now. Imma Em, that's pretty 'v'rythin' useful... Er, may I ask you a question while ye're there?”

“Please do,” Remus said and instantly regretted it.

“Is Sirius Black the cute huge puppy wand'rin' all 'round my home and if so, may he shapeshift right now instead o'tryin' to sneak the partridge in my cold cupboard?”

The tone was as abrupt and tactless as the question itself. The Scott drank another sip of whisky, absolutely careless about how Remus blushed.

“Oh Merlin,” he chuckled. “You're a sharp mind. Padfoot! Stop that this second and come here, you're out.”

“Seems so,” Sirius admitted obeying. “Hi, Em.”

“Yeh 'lready say that, Mr Black. Tea or whisky? Imma sorry I gotta nothin' else. Ye know how few visits I receive, and it's no time for fish and chips.”

“I remember the one visit I saw, at least. Sorry about the mess.”

“Please, t'was fun. Besides, the current one explains a lot about the sudden disappearance of all my chocolate. Now, what exactly are ye both doin' here?”

“Sorry,” Sirius said. “About the chocolate, I mean. After Azkaban, I was almost unable to eat anything else for a while.”

“Well, Imma glad yer not an actual dog, or ye'll be dead, poisoned by traitorous chocolate. A shame.”

“And you're not afraid or disturbed that the dog you let come in wasn't a dog at all?”

“Should I? I dinna care about species, I care about hearts of beings. Any beings. I mean, why do you think I live here, Mr Lupin? Ye should know better.”

She suddenly became very stiff, defiant.

“Or are ye here because ye know and... O _for Merlin's sake ye know,”_ she panicked pointing Sirius. “I can't remember the whole evenin' clearly but I... ye _heard...”_

She froze at that point.

“Eilidh McLean,” Sirius calmly answered.

An astonishing silence fell on the room and the low, deep howl of the wind was the only moving thing down the hill for a while. Em turned around, fists clenched around her kilt, eyes down inspecting her worn-out boots.

“It's your name, isn't it?” Sirius finally shrugged.

“Aye,” she admitted. “It _is._ What d'ye _want_? Why don't ye leave me the fuck _alone?”_

She began to cry nervously. Remus spatted Sirius back the head.

“We've no intent to blackmail you,” he said.

Em huffed, shrugged, and kept silent.

“So... you're Eilidh McLean,” Remus said. “The historian prodigy.”

He could very well remember the whole story. Eilidh had wrote a few books about cross-overs between Muggle and Wizarding history, before Rita Skeeter discovered that she was queer and had a Muggle girlfriend. She disappeared after that and no one ever heard about her anymore.

“Easy enough to be an historian prodigy in a world where almost everybody dinna care about havin' a _ghost_ teachin' it,” the young woman shrugged again, defensive and unsure.

Sirius shook his head. It was fair enough.

“Anyway. We are here to offer you a job.”

“Offer _me_ a job?”

“Well, you indeed have got the qualifications it requires,” Remus said. “It's pretty much involving books and researches.”

“Am I supposed to be interested?”

Sirius's hand made an angry gesture in Glendew's direction.

“Don't tell me you like that arsehole you have for a boss!” he said.

“It's better than being harrased and blackmailed and fired just because ye are what ye are! Ask him!” she pointed a harsh finger on Remus, “he must know!”

“Yes, I do,” the werewolf nodded. “However, don't you want to hear our offer?”

“Ye know I fancy girls, do ye?”

Sirius sighed deeply, grasped Remus's shoulder and snogged him fiercely. Em's eyes widened.

“Oh. Oh... Okay. I get it,” she babbled. “So ye're... together?”

“Yes. As you can see, you fancying girls won't be a problem. Now will you stop playing hard to get?”

“Hard to... Fuck. Imma sorry. I sort of freaked out? But aye. Please tell me about that job.”

“It's basically researches in a library,” Sirius said. “Reading loads of books, and bookmarking and writing all useful information requested.”

“I can do that,” Em nodded.

“What he doesn't say is half of the books are more or less cursed or dangerous,” Remus added elbowing his mate. “And all of them are about Dark Arts.”

“Weren't you both some Gryffindor Knight in Shining Armor or something? I mean, one's a Werewolf and the other the heir of Pureblood maniacs but I assumed you were differents.”

“We are,” Sirius firmly said. “It's not about practicing Dark Arts, it's about conjuring a curse. But we can't conjure anything if we don't know what the curse first was.”

“Make sense.”

She began to openly calm down and a new light shined in her eyes.

“I like the plan. Count me in.”

“You don't want to talk about money?” Remus asked.

She shrugged.

“You can't pay me less than he does, and Imma tired of making fish and chips and pouring beer, and I missed the magical stuff for years. I just... dinna want to be seen.”

“That's no problem. You can come to Starlake and we'll use the Floo. Starting tomorrow sounds okay?”

She shrugged.

“Aye.”

 

~~~

 

**Sirius,**

**Remus was missing today. Is everything all right?**

**Harry.**

**PS : O and by the way, how do you do to invite a girl to a ball?**

 

~~~

 

_Heya Prongslet!_

_Everything is fine, Remus will be back tomorrow – well, maybe he'll already be there if you get that owl at breakfast. We just needed to find someone to help with my reseraches._

_To invite a girl. I don't have a clue. To be fair, girls tended to invite me. Which was utterly embarrassing considering I only wanted to be with Remus, and of course couldn't. I said yes a few times to be kind, but here's all my experience. And Remus will be no help about this as well, he never invited anyone. However, I think that actually go and kindly ask the girl could be useful._

_Love,_

_Padfoot._

_PS : or, invite no one, but dancing alone is crap._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first began this story, it wasn't supposed to get this far, and the fish and chips maker wasn't supposed to become more than a far-away-in-the-background OC but... Well. Here we are, and I think she's funny. I promise it's useful to the plot. And Remus, Harry and Sirius will always be the very first characters in this story.


	5. Yuletides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas chapter.  
> Warning : This chapter wasn't proofread by Kayjaylew, she's not able to do it for now, so it may contain grammar mistakes and I'm really too exhausted to care. I'm really sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this chapter is basically fluff with fluff and fluffy fluff. It wasn't supposed to turn that way but. Next one will be more useful to the plot.  
> I'm releasing my novel in six days, I had far too much work and absolutely no time and then.  
> Here you are. 
> 
> I think CuriousWhoops, who marathonned my AO3 account 2 days ago, deserves a special dedication for this chapter, because it suddenly remembered me I had this to end and publish, so I made a break from the badass princesses, huge trains and moody Selkies to give it to you. 
> 
> Enjoy...

“O Merlin, what for a long day,” Remus sighted, sinking in the warm perfumed bath Sirius had prepared for him.

“You work too much, Moony,” his lover said.

“Well, one of us have to make some money. No one will ever pay you for reading your own library. _You_ are the one hiring someone to help you read it.”

A barklike laugh caressed his ears and two sweet strong hands grabbed his shoulders to massage them.

“No way, love,” Sirius taunted, “You work because you want to. I've enough money to support both of you and Harry till we die or so.”

“Don't you dare to speak about death when I'm having a bath, Sirius. Would you join me?”

“You said you're tired.”

“Well, you know your ways to relax me, don't you?”

Sirius smiled, almost feral, a dancing canine light in his eyes as an answer.

“So what. Clothes down, Padfoot, and join me.”

“I will in a moment, but I think you could enjoy this,” he answered beginning to massage his lover's shoulders, “before I do.”

“It's now official, I love you.”

Sirius kissed him on the crook of the neck as a reward.

“Would you be at that Yule Ball my poor godson fears so much?”

“I don't like the idea of you spending Christmas alone, so I won't. Not like I'm missing anything, I wouldn't have dance with anybody...”

“You could. You're a brilliant dancer, when you bother to.”

Instead of answering, Remus moaned in deep pleasure when his lover's careful thumb found a tensed spot around his shoulder blade.

“However, the Ball is on Christmas day, not on Christmas Eve sooooo do you think I'll take advantage of Minerva's kindness if I ask Harry, Ron and Hermione to come on the 24th?”

“You totally will.”

A silence.

“But she'll be okay and you know it.”

Sirius beamed. Remus sighed as his lover nuzzled him and began to mutter against his neck.

“Do you think I'm asking too much, Moony? I mean, I feel like I've so much to catch up I'll never be able to make it... and in a way, it's... Well, a fact. I'll never get to see Harry grow up from a toddler to a child, from a child to a teen. I'll never get to drag you in a Muggle gay nightclub for your thirtieth birthday as I once promised... All I can do is trying to make it better for you and him, to take care of both of you and I know I can't protect any of you from everything, and I'm scared, Remus, I really am...”

“You're rambling.”

“You don't mind.”

Remus shook his head and kissed Sirius's forehead.

“I'm scared too, Padfoot. But if we can make it, it'll worth it. And you'll be able to catch everything up. Now will you come in the tub with me?”

~~~

Christmas came in the blink of an eye. It was a white Christmas, snowy and ice-cold. Harry flooed in the morning, willing to enjoy a full day with his godfather before Ron and Hermione came along. He was very excited : it was the very first Christmas he get to spend with people he truly considered as his family, in a house he considered as his home. He had almost begged Sirius in every letter he send to wait for him to put the decorations up and the tree and everything, just to enjoy doing this with his two caretakers. And, as Sirius loved nothing more than spoiling his godson to death, he bought the most wonderful red-and-gold Christmas decoration and never even dared to open the box before Harry stepped inside.

And so they spend the day cooking and putting decoration up everywhere and Harry tried to look for the presents but Remus was careful to change the hiding place every three hours.

They laughed a lot, Sirius had a breakdown just before lunch and bravely fought his tears and sadness and guilt when Harry admitted he never had a proper Christmas gift before attending Hogwarts, and they even managed to have a snowball fight in the garden.

Harry was just out of a very hot shower when Remus went back to Hogwarts to open his office. Soon, everybody was there : Ron, Hermione, Remus, Sirius, and Harry, and even Croockshank, Hedwig and Pig. Hermione's orange cat seemed still very fond of Sirius's lap, where he spend the whole diner.

After the desert, Sirius took his guitar and they sang muggle and wizard's carols, traditionnal or not, and even songs that had nothing to do with Christmas, just because. Adults enjoyed eggnog, and the teens had their own, alcohol-free, but at some point Ron mistook his glass and Remus's and hopefully stopped after the first sip.

“Gross” was his only comment about it.

As midnight rang in Glendew's church, far away in the night, they opened their gifts.

Ron get a Quiddich helmet from Remus, and from Sirius, a box. A plain, red box with a slit on the lid.

“What is it for?”

“Well, pay for your dreams, if you have some. Saving money is very useful when you have few... it opens when you really need the money inside. You don't want charity and your parents can't afford to pay for everything, you'd better me your own master as quick as possible, so here's your first step. There already is ten Galleons inside.”

“It's... thank you,” the teen said, ears all red.

Hermione get another book from E. McLean called _Muggles and Mudbloods, a history of prejudices against non-magical and non-magically raised people in the Wizarding World_ , from Sirius, and a magical bookmark that went inside the book by itself if you forgot to do it, from Remus. Just like Ron, she would have to wait the morning to enjoy his best friends' gifts.

“I wonder if I could meet this author at some point,” she though out loud, “his point of view is really interresting, and I have one thousand questions about his first book...”

“It's her point of view,” Sirius said, “and I bet I can manage something next holidays if you're still on it.”

“Oh I would love that!”

“Settled, then. Your turn, pup!”

He handed Harry three presents, one small, one frame-sized, one book-shaped. The teenager carefully opened the tiniest box. There was a knife inside, with several different and useful blades. The second gift was...

“Is that a pocket mirror? Do you expect me to do something with my hair by combing it all the time?”

Sirius barked a laugh.

“Never! James was unable to, even with his parents creating hair-care potions! No, those are two-sided mirrors. Albus isn't pleased with me sneacking in the castle twice a month, so...”

A memory hit Harry all sudden.

“Is it the mirror you called my dad with when you ran away?”

“Technically, it's the one your dad to answer me. Mine is there,” he added patting his jean's pocket. “Call whenever you want, I'll have it with me.”

Harry nodded, as much as he wanted to jump and hug his godfather. He was trying not to be too childish in front of Ron. Something had changed since their row. Their friendship was different, more mature in a way, and if they were as close as they always have, Harry knew Ron couldn't help but feel the sting of jealousy and judgment, having grown in a family where it was far more insidious and far less obviously unfair than the Dursleys. But living with Sirius and Remus had opened his mind to other ways to thing and to raise a child, and he wasn't sure anymore Mrs Weasley was some perfect mother.

He reached for the last present, Remus's one obviously – it was so carefully wrapped! Pulling the paper off felt like somme offense.

It was a picture album. On the front page, a beautifully shaped handwriting had titled _Starlake's first Summer_ and Harry couldn't help but smile so wide it hurt when he turned the pages.

First pictures were on the Platform. Harry was jumping in Sirius's arms – an incredibly skinny and pale Sirius, – Ron and Hermione closely following. Then, page after page, the whole summer unfolded. Moving in the house, shopping in Muggle and Wizard London, playing the guitar and napping on the grass, breakfasts in the garden, swimming in the lake and hinking through the hills. The birthday party. Sharing memories throught the Pensieve. The Quidditch Cup.

And, after a large gap, Sirius's birthday.

“When did you managed to take all those pictures?” Sirius blinked, astonished. “I didn't even knew you owned a camera!”

Remus smiled, wolfish.

“I may or may not have casted a Disillusionment Charm on it.”

“Told you he wasn't a Marauder for nothing,” Ron muttered to Hermione, who shook her head, grinning.

They went back to Hogwarts soon after, Remus escorting the teens to the Gryffindor Tower. Harry, however, let Ron and Hermione and even Remus floo back first. As soon as he was alone with Sirius, he let go and hugged him. His godfather hugged back, and kissed his hair.

“Take care, Prongslet, okay?”

Harry nodded in Sirius's chest.

“Thank you,” he whispered, but the man only shook his head.

“You'd better go, now, Remus is waiting and he needs some rest. He's supposed to keep an eye on things tomorrow... By the way, did you managed to invite a girl?”

“Parvati Patil. Same year. Gryffindor as well. Don't tell Hermione, but Seamus and Dean think she's the prettiest girl our year.”

“Merlin! Then, you surpassed your dad. He didn't get a yes from Lily till seventh year!”

Harry snorted, stepped back and took a handful of powder.

“Merry Christmas, Prongslet!”

“Merry Christmas, Padfoot!”

And he flooed.

~~~

“Merry Christmas, Padfoot.”

Despite the softness of Remus's voice, Sirius grunted and nuzzled deeper in his lover's neck.

“Don't you want to open your presents?” the werewolf teased.

“You're better than all of them. Want you. You're my Christmas present.”

Remus smiled. How on earth did Sirius manage to be that endearing, even as a thirty-something ex-convict?

However, he knew his lover well enough to expect that reaction. That's why he simply reached his bedside table, opened the drawer and grabbed Sirius's present in.

“Here you go, Pads. Moony and Moony's gift, without even waking up.”

“You spoil me,” Sirius said, fighting against the paper with one hand, keeping Remus tightly close with the other. “Okay. You _really_ spoil me.”

It was an album quite similar to Harry's, but fatter. Remus had put inside all the pictures of happy moments he could find, from Sirius's Sorting to their last date, including best Marauders' moments, their best pranks, their first shapeshifting, several growing James waving the Quiddich Cup, Sirius's and Remus's first date and first kiss, the day Lily said yes, Hogwarts graduation day, James and Lily's wedding, Harry's birth and first year and first broom, their reunion after twelve years, their first summer home, and even a picture from Christmas Eve – _this_ Christmas Eve, where Ron and Hermione and Harry and Remus and Sirius were all around the tree singing something and smiling wide.

Half an hour later, Sirius ended sobbing in Remus's arms, and reached and snogged his lover. It was very salty, because of the tears.

“You're the best, my Moony,” he said still crying.

“Hush.I didn't expect you to go all-in right now...”

Remus wipped his lover's cheekbones. Sirius calmed down after a while, breathing deeply in the werewolf's arms.

“Your turn, even if I can't beat you this time...” he decided, and with a bit of wandless magic his own present Apparated on Remus's lap.

It was a beautiful, luxurious quill box, containing a beautiful, luxurious quill. It was deep blue, almost black to be fair, with shining silver stars on the front side – not any stars, of course : the Dog Constellation, with Sirius shimmering bright – and the other, the hidden side, a moon, following the phases of the far-too-real one. On both sides, clouds seemed to move slowly, like a tiny night sky.

“To remember me when you're marking your students' essays.”

“You're a prat, but it's beautiful.”

“Why thank you. Now, may I have my other Christmas present?”

Remus huffed, but he kissed him and his hand went down on his lover's hip.

 


	6. Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is bored, and Sirius is busy.

The bal was on going and Remus was bored to death. Of course he had dance a little bit, with professor McGonagall, Professor Sprout and even Professor Sinistra, but it was more duty than fun. He was longing for his bed, his lover's arms and his good counterpane. He had took a careful look on Harry, and laugh inside at Ron's face discovering Hermione at Krum's arm. However, the red-head had been kind enough to have one single dance with Padma Patil before he sat pouting on a chair. Harry joined him soon enough, and the Patil twins soon choose other people to dance with. Remus noticed to report this to Sirius, who undoublty would oblige with a full drama-queen show about how he couldn't stand his godson being rude with someone he invited to a ball.

The teens were mostly happy, nothing was happening, and Remus was slowly sinking in half-sleep when an unknown scent came to his nostrils. He froze to discover Mad-Eye Moody behind him, glaring at him with his big eye.

“What are you staring at?” the old Auror asked drinking a long sip of his flask.

The strange smell vanished, but Remus had a strange, unsettling feeling about it.

“Sorry. I think I'm a bit pissed off,” he shook his head. “I'd better go home.”

He said goodnight to McGonagall and a few other teachers, excused himself, made his way too his office, and flooed home.

Sirius emerged from the kitchen, smiling bright, and wrapped him in his arms.

“Already home, Moony?” he asked kissing his temple.

“I'm tired, to be fair. I'd better go to sleep.”

“There's something else, ain't it?”

“Probably just me being exhausted, but... It was like Moody smelt strange.”

“What do you mean?”

“Pretty exactly what I said. Strange scent. Unknow. Vanished when he drank at his flask, whatever was in it.”

“That's... unexpected. What do you think of it?”

“Nothing for the time being, and probably until tomorrow.”

Sirius nodded in his lover's neck and nuzzled him, embraced him, and the last thing he remembered from that night was his head touching the pillow.

 

~~~

 

A few weeks later and after a duly-celebrated New Year, Sirius and Em were rummaging through the bookshelves at Grimmauld Place.They had settled in a kind of routine, Sirius using the desk (mostly to sit on it instead of using the chair) surrounded by piles of books, and Em on the floor in various positions and pillows made of heavy volumes. They read for hours almost without a word, and sometimes one of them went downstairs to make some tea. To be fair, it was mostly Sirius who did, because Kreatcher tried to trick Em each time their ways crossed. Sirius commanded him to go clean the attic or the cellar, to get rid of him most of the day, but the Elf was quick to his task if he could be pestering one of them after that.

“Something interresting?” Sirius asked, closing the book he was reading with a sigh.

“Nay. Loads 'bout thinkin' objects, a few 'bout haunted objects, but nothin' 'bout objects able to drain life out o' a body to restaure another...”

“Same here. And we've read almost the bloody entire library.”

“Ye're sure we'll find som'thin'?”

“It's the Black's library, Em. If we don't find something about Dark Arts there, next stop is Grindelwald's own house.”

“I dinna want to try.”

“Same here, I swear it.”

“Guess we need to try the other rooms?”

“I hate that, but yes. There are traps or bad stuff pretty everywhere. Be careful, and if anything goes bad, yell. Shield yourself. Blow up a thing or two for what I care. Last time I tried another room than this one and the kitchen, it ended... badly. To put it lightly.”

“Oooo-kay, very comfortin', thank ye. Next time ye wanna try a supporting speech, please feel free to skip it.”

Sirius didn't answer, but smiled. The more tired Em was, the more wisecracking she got. He took a moment to think about the potential danger of each room. For what he knew, the Scott wasn't old enough to have been fighting during the War and she was probably better with the theory of Defense than with the practice, considering how badly her own house was protected.

“You take the living and dining rooms,” he concluded. “I'll handle the first and second floors. Bring whatever you find here, don't put your wand down even for a second and stay careful.”

“Aye, Sir,” she half-mocked.

They split after that, and Em went down.

The Black's living room was more like a living-dead room. Everything was gloomy in the subdued light of the old lamps, and high, frightening shadows danced all over the walls – deep green walls – and curtains – black and silver, made of some heavy velvet stuff. The middle-class Muggleborn couldn't help but being impressed by the ancient, faded splendor of the old manor. She barely knew the house except for the library, where they worked, and the kitchen, where they used the fireplace and make tea and snacks. She felt awkward, misplaced. But she also was curious, and soon she found herself inspecting carefully the shelves and the display cases.

In one of them, a silver locket was lying on a black velvet cushion. She looked at it. It was a fascinating piece of jewelry, marked with a beautifully-shaped S. She kneeled in front of the glass to have a better look. She felt like she could just find some kind of serenity looking at it forever.

The impressive, huge room around her seemed to fade slowly as she considered how nice it must be to wear such a jewel. She was not one for jewelry but this one was so perfect...

 

Upstairs, Sirius hesitated a long time before he dared putting his hand on Regulus's door and push it open. His brother's bedroom was dark but tidy, cleaned every day with the greatest care by Kreatcher. For all the hate between him and Kreatcher, he had to admit that the House-Elf truly loved Reg. He took a few tentative steps inside, and pulled the curtain open.

Everything was at the place it always had. The tapestry on the walls, the four-poster bed and bedsheets were all silver and green, the desk was ebony black, a peacock feather waiting near the blotter, ready to be used.

It seemed like Reg could be entering each second, and nostalgia crept in Sirius' belly. But he set it away. He had no time for this.

He began with checking the bookshelves, but there was nothing except every schoolbook Regulus ever used. He wasn't luckier with the bedside or the desk. Even the pantry was perfectly tidy but lacking of anything useful.

A sudden memory hit him hard.

 

_A nine years old Regulus knelt and reached for a skirting board under his bed._

_“There's a small space behind it. It's my secret mailbox. When you'll leave for Hogwarts, will you let me something here?”_

_“I will, little brother. I promise.”_

_“Then you must find yourself a secret mailbox too. When you'll grounded in your room, I'll write you letters to entertain you!”_

 

Sirius rushed out of Regulus' bedroom and stormed into his own, all red and gold, at the other side of the corridor. His secret mailbox had been a moving stone in one of the moulding of the ceiling. He grabbed it, revealing a narrow space where a letter was waiting. For him.

 

_Dear Sirius,_

_I don't even know if you will read this one day. I can only hope you remember that time we were brothers, not enemies. It hurts to think we were enemies, but it's the truth and I won't lie._

_I won't lie because I know I will be dead when you will read that letter._

_I have followed the Dark Lord. I wanted to prouve I could be more than that fade version of you Father always thought I was. I wanted to be powerful. I wanted to rule. How foolish I was!_

_I am close to him, now. Closer than anyone except, maybe, our cousin Bellatrix. I think she's in love with him, in her insane way. It doesn't matter. I know what he is doing. He is reaching immortality, Sirius. He is making Horcruxes._

_I don't know how many. I don't know where he hide them. I'm tracking one tonight, and destroying it if I can. I may die in the process, for what I care. I've no real friends. Father is dead, Morther is dying, and you're no part of my family anymore. You wouldn't believe me if I came to you now, and you don't even miss me. You found yourself a new, probably better brother than me, and a new family that loves you. You have things to fight for. I don't._

_Do it, brother. Fight and win._

_And maybe, one day, remember me._

_We lived a long time as enemies, but when I died, I was on your side._

_With all my love,_

_Your brother, Regulus._

_PS : if by the time you find this you're still fighting him, my notebook is in my own secret mailbox. Yours was too small. Everything I know about him and what he did is reported there._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya everyone!   
> I'm back ^^  
> Sorry it took a while, I worked hard all summer, and had litteraly no time to write fanfics.   
> However. My original novel is online here: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B01HOJLUCG for french people. If you're somewhere else in the world, just tell me where in comments, I'll send you the link.  
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'll be back with both this fic and the other one soon!


	7. Of brothers and laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Alban Efred here, the Feast of Autumn's Return! So have a beautiful Automn's Song, staggs in the woods, birds in the skies and whiskey in your glasses - or pumpkin juice if you can't have alcohol. And a chapter, as a gift for the coming back of the Beautiful Season.

Em was watching at the locket as it was some incredible marvel. She was kneeled in front of the display case and her face was slowly moving closer. Suddenly, her nose bumped against the glass, waking her up like a small slap.

“Fays and Selkies, it's not ye, Eilidh McLean!” the witch shook her head.

She stood up and stepped back. The locket was still fascinating her, but now she was a few steps away, it seemed to fade a little bit.

“I hate dark magic tricks,” she growled leaving the living room.

She crossed Sirius's way climbing back to the library. Being way shorter than he, she didn't bore to lift her eyes to his face when she asked: !

“Any luck?”

“Yes. It's over for today, okay? You can go home, and take tomorrow as a day-off. Let's floo back to Starlake.”

“Yer aware it's like 11 am or som'thin'? Not that I care but...”

She finally lifted her eyes, took a brief look at Sirius's carefully stoic but livid face, and nodded.

“I'll see ye on Tuesday, then. See ye, boss.”

Sirius heard her grab her jacket and trot down the stairs. He waited until he was sure she had the time to come out of Starlake before flooing hoe himself, his hands still clenched around Regulus's letter and old leather notebook.

 

Remus found him in their own library several hours later, frantically writing notes about his brother's ones. However, when the teacher put a hand on his lover's shoulder and a teacup for him on the desk, Sirius broke in tears in his arms.

“He betrayed them,” he blurted out on Remus's chest. “He didn't die as a Death Eater... He was on our side, Moony... He was on our side, and I didn't knew it, and he died alone and I don't even know where...”

The very first thing Remus did was to kiss him on the forehead and cup his cheek to ask for eyecontact. Sirius let him look in his inside-storm. The werewolf needed a few moments to put all the pieces together. It was easy to guess which Death Eater's redemption could have caused this storm.

“Regulus?” he asked, almost sure of the answer.

“He found out what I was looking for. He... Everything is there. Well, not everything but... Everything he found. He'd made Horcruxes. Several bloody Horcruxes, and then he tried to destroy them but I think he failed because he disappeared and he said that if he did, he would be dead and...”

“Please try to calm down, Padfoot, you're not making any sense right now.”

Remus forced him away from the desk and into the sofa, where he cuddled him and instructed him to breathe deeply. When Sirius's breath became less erratic and his tears stopped, he let him talk again.

“Regulus found out that Voldemort was creating Horcruxes, and he tried to find and destroy them, and for what I know, he failed. I... Since Harry mentionned Tom Jedusor's diary, I have been thinking about it, because, let's face it, Remus: I'm a Black, and I've see and learn things about possessed objects that you'll never want to know but that was different, that was something else. If Reg has ever had a glimpse of such a thing, he would... he would have known as well. And he did, because he found out and... And he died.”

Remus took several deep breaths. It was crazy. As a Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, he was well aware of a lot of Dark Magic practice, but Horcruxes were disgusting even for Dark Magic. Creating one was giving one's humanity up. Several... were unlikely. Insane. Just what Voldemort was, in a way.

“He died, but he didn't die for nothing,” he muttered against Sirius's scalp. “You and I will ensure that he didn't.”

“No, Moony. I will. You've got a job, now. You're a proper teacher and everything.”

But Remus's tentative, comforting smile vanished at his lover's words, and Sirius frowned.

“What happened?”

“Well, I'm not a teacher anymore. Or if I still am, it won't last long.”

He sighted and handed him the Daily Prophet. The front page was reporting new anti-werewolves laws, including the ban of any job implying proximity with minors.

“I had a meeting with Dumbledore earlier. He already asked several lawyers. He can oppose a lot of things, but not a law. The commission used Christmas and all the turmoil about the Tournament to vote it when no one was caring. I can end the week, then pass the job to Moody.”

Sirius gapped in shock. It was too much in one day.

“No...” he babbled. “No, they can't... tell me they can't...”

He hugged Remus tightly and clenched his fist around two handfuls of jumper.

“I'm sorry, Moony. I'm so sorry they can't open their stupid blind eyes to see just you and how wonderful you are...”

“It's okay, Pads. I'm used to it.”

“Being used to something does not mean it's right.”

They stayed there, cuddled on the library's sofa, for a comfy long time until Remus smiled again, trying to ease the mood.

“Well, let's face it, Padfoot. I'll be there all the time with you by now. Will you be able to bear it?”

Instead of answering, Sirius snogged him.

 

~~~

 

They get to discuss practical matters over diner – now they couldn't order take-away fish and chips half the time, they had to cook, but at least the effort was soothing.

“Do you want to look for another job?”

“Not for now. I can't help but have a bad feeling about this. Being out of Hogwarts when Harry is forced into that Tournament and Peter on the run... No, I think I'm really going to help you with the researches. As long as you know, Regulus only found out about one of them, didn't he?”

“He did. We'll have to find clues about all the others, and how many they are. It'll be frustating, and long. But together, is there anything we can't face?”

Remus smiled.

“I don't know yet, but I doubt there is. Not now. However, what about Em?”

“Merlin bless me, I totally forgot about her! Well, to be fair, I don't think she would be any help in a fight, but she's pretty efficient as long as researches and theorical stuff goes, and a decent and smart witch, so I'll vote to keep her on the team anyway. Plus, I can hardly tell her that she quits her shitty job for basically nothing but two months locked up in Grimmauld Place...”

“It wouldn't be fair,” Remus nodded. “She doesn't have to get sacked because I was. Plus, if we need to go away in a journey or something, she'll be able to continue the researches anyway.”

“It's settled, then. I'll talk to her tomorrow.”

They went right to bed after dinner, both carving for cuddles and comfort. The day had been gruelling for both of them, and rest and warmth were welcome.

Of course, the nightmares they both faced this night weren't welcome at all.

It was Em who woke them up when she rang at the door.

 

~~~

 

“Imma down, need a break. D'ye fancy a cuppa?”

“No, thanks. I'll join you in a moment, just the time to end this.”

Em nodded and left. She had been taciturn since the day Sirius discovered Regulus's notebook, but he didn't really notice the change: Em wasn't a talkative person to begin with, and the grim of the whole house never helped such cases.

Their new task wasn't half as pleasant as the first had been: they collected all the diaries, notebooks and letters of the whole Black family and were reading them, hoping to find a clue about Voldemort's Horcruxes. Sirius was going through Regulus's diary while Em was reading Walburga's and Bellatrix's prolific correspondance together. As Voldemort's right hand for years, it would be a curse if Bellatrix never let anything slip away. However, reading pages and pages of rambling about how being a Pureblood, a proper witch and other prejudicied nonsense was litterally draining.

Em reached the kitchen and put the kettle on, focusing on the strum of Kreatcher's broom to distract her mind from...

But it was such a beautiful locket.

“You okay, Em?” Sirius asked entering the kitchen his mug in one hand. “You look odd.”

“Sorry. Tea?”

They sat for a while, both lost in their own minds, and this time she was the one speaking first.

“Professor Lupin will join us on monday, then.”

“Yes.”

“Am I still useful here or are ye keepin' me just out of pity?”

“I don't pity anyone.”

“Okay. Thanks. But erm. Can I... Take a real break? A wee holiday? Like, one week or something?”

“Well I almost forced you to take Christmas as a day-off, so I assume you can. Just tell me when you'll be back.”

“In one week, on next monday, if it's fine.”

“Settled. Let's go back to work, shall we?”

“Aye. Even if yer cousin's drivin' me mad.”

“She was, so I assume it's fair.”

 

~~~

 

“And here are the lesson plans for the third and fourth years,” Remus said adding a pair of files on the top of the pile. “I think we're sorted...”

“So do I,” Moody growled. “You're a very hard worker, Lupin. A shame the Ministry can't see past your Lycanthropy.”

“Well thank you, professor Moody. Please take a good care of... your students.”

“I think they'll still consider themselves as your students for a while. McGonagall found the Weasley girl and a few of her friends collecting signatures for a petition against your departure.”

Remus smiled, touched.

“She told me earlier when she came to say goodbye, yes.”

“Are you staying with Black?”

“Yes, I do. I -”

He stopped. A faint but strange smell disturbed his nostrils. An unknown human scent. He scanned the room, but they were alone.

“A problem, Lupin?” Moody asked, and the evidence suddenly hurt Remus like a bullet: the strange smell was the same he scented during the Yule Ball.

“No, nothing. I'm just very tired, I'm sorry.”

“Ah. The full coming?”

“In two days, yes. I shall be resting.”

“So maybe you'd better to go.”

Remus nodded and reached the door, only to end face to face with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

“We were hoping to see you before you go,” Harry said, looking at his feet.

He looked very sad, and Hermione wasn't better. Ron was the only one trying to ease the mood.

“Well the floo network is already closed between Hogwarts and Starlake,” Remus said, “so maybe the three of you will be kind enough to walk with me to the main gate? I will Apparate from Hogsmeade.”

As they walked through the park, lots of students came to say goodbye to Remus. There was a kind of resignation about his departure that broke a lot of them. In June, they had fight their own parents to keep their teacher, but no one of them was able to do anything against the law itself. Luna offered him an amulet against Nargles, and Ginny rambled something about adults being gits. Cedric Diggory, elected representative of the whole Hufflepuff House, made a whole speech about tolerance and kindness, and how they all were going to miss him a lot. Most of the teachers already had told him goodbye, and soon, in the cold, early evening of January, he was alone with Harry, Ron and Hermione in front of the main gate.

“We'll miss you, Professor,” Hermione said.

“It's Remus, now, Hermione.”

“They shouldn't have the right to do that to you,” Ron grumbled. “What if you didn't have anywhere to go?”

“It happened more than once, Ron, and I survived it. It could be far worse, you know. Sirius is there, and I have a roof waiting for me. It's way better than what I was used to.”

Harry didn't say anything, he just hugged Remus tight, and the werewolf wrapped the teen in his arms for a while before they broke the embrace.

“And don't worry. If you, any of you, need me or Sirius, write or use the mirror. Believe me, we're Maurauders. We can break in whenever we want.”

Harry half-smiled at that, and then, Remus passed the gate. The three teenagers saw him wave his wand, and he Disappeared.

In that office that now was his, Moody made a lonely toast of Polyjuice.

“And the main threat is gone,” he said, and drank.

 

 


End file.
